We said goodbye to Laurel today. The church was packed. Sooooo many people showed up to honor her and commemorate her life. It truly was a celebration and had great impact. The air was filled with her voice, singing over us as we listened to her recorded music and watched a slideshow of her life. It still doesn’t seem possible that she’s gone, it still doesn’t make sense and I will always have a list of questions for God when I get to heaven…but she will forever be in my heart. I want to extend a very BIG thank you to my lab, Pro DPI for printing her portraits overnight and having them ready for me to pick up and deliver to Neville for the service.  I landed in Denver and they were right on the way to the church.  They totally bent over backwards to pump the images out on beautiful pearl paper mounted on styrene and had them waiting for me.  Thanks Krystal @ Pro DPI.  Your work made an enormous impact today for so many people.

Laurel’s brother Mark produced the most amazing programs.  So creative and honoring. She always loved your work Mark.  Me too.

Not surprising to me that Laurel had a packed house.

Laurel’s parents, Don & Diane Stevens, delivering her eulogy.

Laurel & Neville’s friend and musician, Mike Klassen, delivered several stories about Laurel for family members.

Laurel’s brother Mark and sister-in-law honoring her with words of affirmation and memories.

Laurel’s pastor, Aram Haroutunian, completely encouraging the listeners. What an awesome job.

Laurel’s sweet sister, Lisa, smiling through her tears. Laurel just brings that out.

And Neville.  So bravely sharing his story about how he and Laurel met.

The girls sang  “The Best Day” by Taylor Swift for their mom and there wasn’t a dry eye in the house.  Girls…you were so courageous.  So proud of you!

Nev & the girls (l-r :: Caleigh, Jenny, Nev & Lindsay)

Neville and his brothers who flew out for support.

There were so many other photos I saw and didn’t take.  Sometimes, the best photos are the private ones that only remain in my memory.                     Especially on days like today.  And anyway…Laurel would like the smiling ones.

The last couple images, I took last month in their home…one of the girls painted this canvas for her…and if you know the book that inspires it, Love You Forever by Robert Munsch…it was their favorite one.  They read it to her over and over during her final days with us.  She loved nothing more than the girls reading and singing to her.

This the last time I saw her, Dec. 11th, and the last hug I ever got from Laurel…as we said goodbye at the airport. She’ll forever be my hazelnut coffee, Bear Claw Cherry Square, class act girl. I’ll be missing you until I see your beautiful face again.  Until then… know that I love you. I’m certain our houses will be next to each others. Who else can I fold laundry with?

I love, and I mean LOVE, Neville & Laurel and their girls. Laurel and I had babies together. We’ve folded each other’s laundry and done each other’s dishes. I’ve seen Laurel more without makeup than with it. We’ve cried on each other’s shoulder and cheered each other on. We’ve sang together, swung each other’s babies and shared some embarrassing stories. Laurel is one of my dearest friends and I adore Neville.

They had me fly out to Denver to capture family life. What a treat. They are the hosts of all hosts. Their gift of hospitality is something everyone on this earth should experience. Neville kept me caffeinated, carbed up and standing in awe at how he cares for Laurel. I must have heard him say “Whatever you want, Laurel,” 20 times. She’s fighting a VERY brave battle against breast cancer. Her days are up and down and my hope is that I was able to bring a little bit of joy to Denver while we spent the weekend with each other. It was the perfect time together, with lots of talking around the table, (which is my favorite thing to do with them) reminiscing and once again, holding each other up.

The girls were simply breathtaking. But not in their outward appearance, although as you can see, they don’t lack much! Their beauty runs so deep. Baby Leah…what a doll. Lindsay, so full of maturity and smiles, is doing a superb job being a mommy , just like Laurel is to her. Jenny, so full of life, like she has always been; is just a fountain of exuberance. And Caleigh, the same cutie pie that used to run around my house looking for her “Hollie friend” is soon off to Paris for the summer. They grew too fast for my liking….but hey…

Laurel & Nev, I simply love you. I felt like I was in the company of angels and being in your home was such a holy place. Thank you for blessing me with an opportunity to see and capture the real you. I hope you love your photos as much as I loved taking them. You bless me more than you know.

Here’s the slideshow of the full length photo shoot…if you want to watch it again for the 1000th time!  ;o)

All of my love,

Treacy

Update: You never know what a lasting impact actions have. 3 weeks after this shoot, Laurel was back in the hospital with the cancer spreading to the liver and brain. As my closest friend Linda said yesterday on FB, “As I write this, it appears that Laurel is losing a long-fought battle with cancer, but I hesitate to use the word “losing” because she has loved much and is finishing well. She has overcome fear and pain and has met them with the sweetest smile you could ever imagine. That smile will forever be a testimony to me when I think I’m having a bad day.”

I spoke with Neville this morning, as Laurel is resting comfortably at home for the remainder of her days here on earth, and through many tears we shared stories, and deep heartfelt words that can only be shared on a day like today. In the way that only Neville can do, he continues to care for her with music, open curtains to let in the sunlight, reading and talking to her constantly of his undying devotion and love. The girls have been reading to her and singing for her, even though she sits motionless…conserving all her energy for breathing. I have no doubt that she hears every single word. Neville shared through breathless utterances (my paraphrase), “Because you came, we had two extra days with Laurel because she forced herself to stay awake. Those photos…they’re the greatest gifts I’ve ever received in my life. I just can’t tell you how appreciative I am. What a blessing to have them. You have no idea.” So, was posing, lighting, time of day, having my indispensible reflector handy, and the right lens important…of course.  But the most important thing was being there.

Laurel will be in heaven soon, and I know I will see her beautiful face again. I had no idea that four weeks ago, as we talked of future plans and dreams, that it was going to be the last time I’d see her…that I was documenting something so fragile and utterly important. That this would all come so soon. That Neville and the girls would need this so much.

THIS is why I do what I do.

UPDATE 1-13-2011:  Laurel passed away just a few hours after posting this blog.  I’ll miss her forever.

And no…I’m not pregnant.  Not that I would mind, but we are beyond that stage of life.  I think.  Unless a miracle happens.  You understand.

BUT…our family is growing.  Jay and I had been talking about adopting after we got home from Italy this summer.  It was one of those unexpected conversations we had that I had no idea would come into clear focus so immediately.  We talked about being available to help a little boy, if he came along, that might be Connor’s age and be in the same phase of life we’re already in.  About two weeks later, Connor and I headed out to Camp Ravencliff where I was photographing the camp for a week and got to spend the week with my son.  And my soon-to-be new son – I just didn’t know it yet.  (little segway here for Camp Ravencliff…

I grew up going here with my dad, where he went before me with my grandpa.  I love this place like none other and if you want to send your kid to a very special summer camp where they can be themselves and grow in amazing ways, surrounded by the rustic nature of the redwoods in Humboldt County and a staff that has over-the-top ratings, check it out.  You won’t be disappointed.  And you can see more of my photos on the main page slideshow…end of segway) Anywhoo…we met Evan that week.  I found myself following him around with my camera.

And then when I was talking to another volunteer staff member, Skittles (fantastic angel from HEAVEN), who works for Seneca (where she helps foster kids find forever families) told me that she brought Evan to camp because he was an adventure kid and she was working on helping him find permanancy, you can image how my head snapped sideways.  Weren’t we JUST talking about this kind of thing?  It was crazy.  That’s when the seed of love got planted in our hearts for this kid.  And it was also interesting how Jay’s mom died that week, the same week God brought Evan. My mom had just finished telling me that when someone we love is taken away, very often the gap gets filled with someone new. And it is NO ACCIDENT that Evan was brought to me through Ravencliff.  That place has been so life giving to me.

The story is so long and I’m not even sure if this is the time or place to tell the whole entire story, but the long and short of it is, we began to visit with Evan after camp.  His situation was dire and he needed a family.  And pronto.  And God brought him across our paths and there didn’t seem to be ANYONE else who was willing to get involved.  Which, at this point, is beyond me.  He is the most adorable, precocious 10 year old you’ve ever met.  He, like Connor, is addicted to Legos and wielding anything that even kind of resembles a light saber.  Including, but not limited to sticks, boards, toilet paper holders, rulers, foot scrubbers…you get the picture. He has the sweetest brown eyes you’ve ever seen.  I’m amazed at how soft they still are and how he is so snuggly and open to affection and being part of us.

After much, much, much prayer and consultation and asking all of the really hard questions both of ourselves and our bio kids, our family and friends, we have decided to have Evan come and live with us.  But not just in the fostering capacity that it will start out as.  As soon as possible we will move into an adoption procedure and hopefully, by the end of summer, we will all be Mizes. He melts our hearts and we are so excited for the day when he gets to come and finally stay.

Evan came and stayed with us for 2 week this Christmas vacation.  He just left a few hours ago to go back to San Francisco until we can get all of the details sorted out, like school, legal paperwork, etc. etc. and have him here for good.  The vacation started out with him putting a bow on his head, while watching Elf (favorite), asking “I’m a present…who wants me?”  To which I quickly replied, “I do!”  So, he hopped on my lap and I asked, “So, if you’re my present, what do I get?”  He says, in complete sincerity, “Seriously…I want to live here.  If you get me for a present, you get ME.”  Melting Mommy Moment.  I say, because Jay is already in bed and we haven’t had “the talk” with Evan yet, “Well, you’ll probably hate it here, because I’ll make you do chores.”  ”That’s fine…I’ll do chores.”  ”…and I’ll make you do all your homework.”  Sigh…”ooooookay” (annoyed).  ”AND, you won’t be allowed to play rated M video games anymore…” to which I got the immediate death stare, and then an eventual submitted sigh and “OK”.  And THEN…he sweetly put his finger over my lip like he was shushing me and whispered, “Don’t say anymore…I just want to live here.”  M.M.M.

Fast forward to Christmas Day, after all the presents were open, and we have “the talk”.  Just the 3 of us. Jay says, “We’ve been thinking about this for the longest time, since we met you this summer and  we know things are hard and you need a place to stay and we were thinking maybe you’d like to stay here.”  ”I’d LOVE to stay here!” he calmly but enthusiastically says.  ”But we aren’t just talking for 6 or 8 months like you’ve been doing at the other homes.  We want you.  Want you to come forever and you would be in our family, like our own son, and we would want to be adopting you.”  And Evan says, so soberly and grown-up-like, “I understand what you’re talking about.  I know I can’t go back home to my family, so I’m thinking this would be the best place for me.”  M.M.M. #3

Christmas is full of gifts, but we all got a really cool one this year.  We got another child, and Evan got a family.  Nana and Grandpa got another grandkid, Unkie and Auntie got a nephew, and from here on out, everything changes.  I can’t wait to tell you more.  To tell you about all of the really cool “coincidences” and confirming moments that led us to today.  The day I cried when Evan left to go back to San Francisco.  Hopefully, the next time he comes back, will be for forever.  I mean, until he’s 18.  And headed out for some incredible college.  That’s gonna be a cool day.  I’ll probably cry again.  Ya think?

Here’s a few photos of Christmas and our newest addition…Evan the Incredible, with a story yet to be told.  The kind that get told at campfire.

And a very special thank you to all of you who were so patient waiting for me to reveal our news…I just had to be sure and how else can I build anticipation without being pregnant?

“This is officially the BEST CHRISTMAS EVER” ~ Evan