Tre’ is one of my best friends from high school.  She’s the kind of friend you hope you never loose.  And Tony.  They only made one of him.  Well besides being in a league of his own for being a hunk, I love him for taking such good care of her.  They are the real deal.  When you want to see a picture of true love, the kind that flourishes and is full of grace, and that will last forever, look no further, cause this is it.  They’ve shared a lifetime together and come out on the other side stronger for it.

On the day of this photoshoot, Tre’ & Tony had just flown in from Kentucky for Tre’s Nonna’s 90th birthday party.  Yay Nonna!  So, Tre’ had been dreaming about a photoshoot for  while and they finally were able to make it all the way out here.  Tre’ slept in, I think, 7 different beds, 7 nights in a row before she got to me.  She didn’t really start in Kentucky though…it started in Afghanistan, then to Kuwait (?), then to Dubai, then D.C, Virginia, home, Nashville, Richmond and THEN me.  See, being the ex-marine that she is…she’s been serving a civilian tour of duty in Afghanistan for the past six months.  I couldn’t be more proud of her. She was away from her honey all those months because of a deep sense of duty and commitment to us – we that are here enjoying our freedom.  In fact, this was her second tour over there.  And she and Tony are talking about going again. She served a civilian tour too down in New Orleans after Katrina. I don’t quite understand their drive to serve in this way overseas, but I’ll tell you one thing…I’m EXTREMELY thankful for their personal sacrifice!!

I just felt so honored to take these photos…even though you were all jet lagged!  Seeing your love for each other is contagious and refreshing. I was humbled to be taking them…witnessing such intimate moments.  Thanks for letting me in.

Love you so much. Your friendship and sisterhood has been such an incredible gift to me. I totally treasure you guys.

xoxo,

Treacy

As I’m breathing in the morning beauty of Lake Tahoe, I find myself reflecting on the changes I have come through and the power of two little photos that changed everything for me.

Last January, like many people do, I wanted to find one simple word to focus on for the year.  I had pretty much driven myself crazy asking myself things like:  Who am I going to choose to be? How much power am I giving to others to dictate what my life will look like? Am I willing to take full responsibility for what I want my life to look like? And will I choose to be a victim or a victor?  As I pondered these questions, the word OVERCOME surfaced over and over again, so it became my “word” for the year.  I joined a support group with 8 women in hopes that they would help me figure some stuff out.

Through the process I recognized that I had been believing some things about myself that were skewing my perspective and getting in the way of being able to answer those questions.  I discovered that what I had been subconsciously telling myself was “You have no idea who you are or what you want,” and “You are inconvenient and unwanted.”

And then I got this little envelope in the mail from my mom that contained a handful of 3×3 snapshots of me when I was 3-4 years old.  I don’t think she sent them for any particular reason, except that I believe we get what we need when we need it.  As I looked at these photos, I had an overwhelming response – I saw something visually that I hadn’t been able to figure out mentally.

My favorite was one of me sitting on the beach (go figure).  My smile is genuine. My eyes are bright.  I’m obviously happy.  Instantly, I was reminded who I was.  I thought, “Ok…there she is…I just have to find her again.”  The second one that jumped out at me was of my parents holding me on my 3^rd birthday.  Table set for a party. Roses to boot.  My mom looking beautiful – hair, makeup, dress – although she had just given birth to my brother 2 weeks prior.  She had obviously made my day a priority (always did & still does).  The proof was there right in the photo.  I was not inconvenient or unwanted.

Those photos have been such a gift to me.  I love looking at them because they are reminders of what is REAL. Deep inside I always knew who I was and how much I was/am loved but circumstances had clouded my thinking and I needed a fresh perspective.  These photos provided the “ah-ha” moment that set my heart free.

All that to say…I really believe in the power of a photo and sometimes it’s not realized for 30 or 40 years.  I want to give that gift to you.  From now until December, anyone who books a fall session with me is going to get what I’m calling “A POCKET FULL OF MEMORIES” for FREE with your order.  I will print a copy of any images you buy plus 10 of my favorites on little 3×3 photos.  I think you might need them someday.  Someone you love, or maybe you, might need to be reminded of what is REAL down the road.  Life has a way of dealing some tough hands.  So today, while you are thinking about it, give me a call and let’s capture some life giving memories.  For me, these little photos were life changing.  Maybe they will be for you too.

Today is my oldest baby’s 18th birthday.  And he’s not here.  He’s off doing what we always hoped he would do.  Doing well enough to attend a fabulous university, getting his feet wet and trying out his wings as he soars far from the nest of home.  We always wanted him to do that, but now that it’s actually here, I wonder if maybe we should have locked him in a closet!  Because it feels weird to not be making a cake and getting the house ready for a party.  And then there’s that thing of missing him. Every. Single. Day.

Dropping that kid off at college was the hardest thing I’ve ever done second to burying people I love. I don’t know if there was ever a more pathetic moment of a family huddled on the grass, praying one last time together before everything changed, with our shoulders bobbing up and down as we all sobbed in one big heap.  Don’t get me wrong.  I’m proud.  Prouder than anyone I know.  He’s doing and daring things I never attempted…so I’m thankful.  We crafted it that way on purpose so that he would be able to go places we never have. But in my mama heart, in the place that holds babies close…I never wanted this day.  I mean, I do in some ways – many ways, but in the selfish places…I want him home.  I miss the little things, like the sound of his feet on the front steps, the quiet strumming of guitar strings and humming behind closed doors and I would just sit quiet in the hallway listening, the sound of the fridge opening, shutting, opening, shutting, opening, shutting!  I miss his smile and the way he walked through the produce market when I stop for fresh tomatoes. For some silly reason, I keep going to that market hoping that will help me feel him, but it doesn’t.  I want the sound of his car to pull into the driveway and the smell of his cologne to waft into the kitchen as he leaves for the day.  I want movie night and trampoline jumping and hearing Hollie laugh at his ridiculous jokes.  I even miss needing to turn off his light in the room that got left on all day.  I can’t help thinking about his first birthday…where it all started.  Where I experienced for the first time what it felt like to have my heart on the outside of my body.  And I remember those growing up days…some of the time felt like it would never pass.  But if I could make his life about me, which I would never do, I would start all over again.  I would literally go back in time and do it all over.  But I can’t.

So, for now, I just breathe deep and we start a new chapter.  I have no idea how to write this one though, but I know it will be good. I cling to friends’ advice who have walked before me in this arena and hold up my head knowing that I trust Kyle to walk his own path.  I know he’ll make good choices and I know that in the areas he falls down and blows it will be another path to success.  I’ve seen the pattern over and over and this is no different, except for the level of intensity.

So, Kyle, my favorite first born son, you fly.  You run and you jump off the ledge and soar.  You do whatever is in your heart to make this world a better place. And know that you have the most incredible support team surrounding you.  This is it now…your turn…your days to choose your life and what it will look like and who it will affect.  And these are my days to learn how to let go.  This is where I change from being an anchor that kept the ship safe from drifting out to sea, to now becoming a lighthouse, showing the way home after you’ve been out there discovering the world.  When days get hard and you don’t know what to do, you just look for the light and that’s where you’ll find us and more importantly, God. You are truly amazing Kyle.  Our little heart mender grown big. Only a man where the boy used to stand.

I am fascinated by you, son.  Now…Tito…bring me a tissue!!